Names and Faces

When I was a kid, around 10-12 years of age, a buddy and I would often wander the video store shelves looking thoroughly at all the videos we weren't allowed to rent. We hoped for a glimpse of nudity or gore so we could pretend we had some knowledge of the movie in question, even if we would never be able to see it. Sometimes the boxes themselves were all the scariness and violence I needed. I've since seen many of the movies I'd once thought were "soooo scary", and my feelings on most of them are "meh". They're not scary, and as an adult I realize that there wasn't any possible way for these films to live up to the expectations my 10-year old mind had invented for itself. Some of the titles were awesome though. I am still fooled by great titles and great movie posters, (and great book covers). Some movie titles just speak of awesome stories of terror and absurdly depraved depths of violence. I have some of the following titles on my Netflix queue, but I don't know if I really want to watch them. They seem so special and cool now, and I would hate to ruin that.

Dario Argento is known for making loose trilogies with his films. His latest movie, The Mother of Tears, is his last in the "Three Mothers trilogy". (Inferno, Suspiria, Mother of Tears.) The Mother movies span 30 years...so Argento gets around to finishing his projects eventually. His movies are great, and I've seen many of them. One of his films, and an entry in Argento's "animal trilogy", is not on DVD anywhere in the world. It's too hard to find a VHS copy of this film, and if you did find one it would be edited and have terrible tracking issues anyway. I'm talking about Four Flies on Gray Velvet. Talk about your descriptive, cool titles! Giallos from the 1970's tend to have great titles, and this is no exception. The flies make me think of death and decay, and the gray could be anything, decomposing skin, exposed brain tissue, the pillowcase of a strangulation victim. And then there's the velvet. It contrasts the other nouns in the title, and that contrast sprouts interest. I also want to see this film because it doesn't exist, and there's a feeling of completion that arises. I've seen all of Argento's other work, so this one's turn is up. Argento's titles could fill up the entirety of this post, so I'll leave you with one more, possibly my favorite because of its mixing of organic softness, and sharp killing objects: The Bird with the Crystal Plumage.

The Italian giallo's have so many great names, and the movies are so much fun too. The names are always darker than the content of the films themselves though, and they leave a bigger impression. All the Colors of the Dark is a fantastic title. It reminds me of a line from the Ray Bradbury story The Halloween Tree. The kids are riding their bikes through a ravine, and the line goes: "The ravine was filled with varieties of darkness." Description at its finest. Another favorite title of mine, and it's a doozy, is Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key. As you may expect, there's a ton of sex and nudity in this film, which is based on "The Black Cat" by Edgar Allen Poe. What Have You Done to Solange? is another good title that tells its own story. Something dreadful has been done, (to someone with a really unique name). It implies that, even after the discovery that something has occurred, the nature of the event is still unclear. The motive of the killer is unknown and, as we all know from Lovecraft, the unknown is the most terrifying thing of all.

And then there are those films that have names that are too ridiculous. You have to laugh, and then realize that you want to see that movie! The one that comes to mind most prominently is Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. Who wouldn't want to see that? The title speaks of crazy ridiculousness that can't possibly be as crazy as the things going through your heads right now. Couple that film along with, Hell Comes to Frogtown, and you've got a double feature that'll draw its own crowd. With movie titles like these, the content becomes superfluous. You'll just be waiting on edge all day to use these titles in a sentence. Here are some more great titles that could probably inspire you to write your own horror story:

The Town that Dreaded Sundown -- (Apparently the movie does not do the video cover justice, but it is a terrifying poster.)
Incident On and Off a Mountain Road
Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll
The Loreley's Grasp
Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Seven Blood-Stained Orchids
What Are Those Strange Drops of Blood Doing on Jennifer's Body? (Sounds like it's probably a full line of dialogue.)
Five Dolls for an August Moon
The Conqueror Worm -- (Not nearly as gruesome as it seems from this poster, and has nothing to do with Edgar Allen Poe, except the title is the same as his poem.)

Feeling adventurous or bored? Check some of these out. They're not all duds, but maybe you'd have a better time writing title-inspired fan fiction instead.