Jason Strikes Back

Two Friday 13th posts in a row might seem like double the dark omen, but it's all I've got right now. Hopefully I'll think of something else to write up soon, but for now you're going to have to read about more Jason, more blood, more boobs, more craziness. I think you're up for it.

The nature of the new Friday 13th has been debated a lot on the net: Is it a remake or a reboot, etc? It's a reboot, because they're trying to start a new franchise based on an old franchise by remaking the original but updating it to modern day. It's a remake of sorts, but only because the source material already existed. There were, as there usually are, ups and downs. I liked some stuff, I hated other stuff.

First let me say that Aaron Yoo has got to get more acting jobs. I like his style and he's funny as hell. If you saw Disturbia, he was Shia LeBeouf's sidekick. He does a great job in this movie and he has the funniest lines and steals every scene he's in. Right before his inevitable death, he hands Jason a hockey stick and says, in a tone that suggests he's returning a lost item to its owner: "Here. This completes your outfit." Then he gets a screw driver through the neck. It sounds like I, a bona fide gore-hound, would be satisfied with a screw driver through the neck, but no! The kill in question takes place in a highly equipped tool shed. There were so many interesting implements that Jason could have used, but instead he went for a screw driver...a Phillips' head screwdriver no less. The Phillips' head is the Nerf of screw drivers. It's as round and blunt as you can get without losing functionality. Seriously, when you have every sharp and menacing garden tool around at your disposal, why settle for a simple screw driver? Here are four ways that the kill could've been much more devastating and entertaining.

It seems like I'm belaboring a tired point, but it's just indicative of the lack of creativity present in the movie. Jason is machete-prone, (always was, always will be), but apart from one fun, creative murder, Jason is a very methodical, predictable slasher in this new version. The interesting kill in question comes in the first ten minutes. Jason ties a girl up in her sleeping bag and hangs her over a fire, while the guy who was banging her moments ago watches, his leg caught in a bear trap. Don't worry, he doesn't suffer too long. He gets a machete blow to the cranium. Many bonus points for that scenario.

One thing I really enjoyed about this movie was Jason's intelligence and humanity. I'm not saying he's ever shown in a sympathetic light, but he seems like a real human being. He is a capable person who has built this maze of tunnels that run underneath Camp Crystal Lake, not to mention grown an impressive crop of ganja. (More on that in a minute.) There is a scene where Jason is returning to camp with the headless body of a recent victim and two survivors are watching him from hiding. Jason walks into camp and sees evidence of the presence of outsiders. He drops the body and starts looking around and checking things out. I've never seen him act so curious and thorough. It's the first time I thought Jason was even cognizant of his surroundings, much less aware of anything but naked girls post-coitus (you know, for machete fodder). He becomes scary for that moment, probably for the first time since 1982.

I think this film series has somewhere to go. This is a promising start, although not the well-thought through movie I and other fans were hoping for. The cast is mostly forgettable. The addition of a running, fiercer Jason is surprisingly welcome, and the atmosphere was effective. There was too much cutting at times. I couldn't follow the action completely enough, and there weren't enough long takes of the kills. It's a Friday 13th movie! Show us some money shots already! The film was also full of these jump-scares initiated by loud noises...really loud noises. That's not scary, it's just slightly startling. And the whole weed thing was a little too accidentally hilarious.

The beginning of the film sees this group of kids going into the woods to find this secret bed of pot. They give up for the day and hunker down for the night. One kid goes off in the woods on his own and comes across the garden of weed. He's admiring the buds when Jason comes out of the woods and kills him. Then Jason kills everyone else in the group. The next kill is this redneck guy who also knows where the pot is and he has a habit of selling and smoking it. Apparently, as we keep getting reminded, this pot is good stuff. Well Jason comes out of the wood and kills him too, while he's in the middle of a joint no less. Is Jason just facially disfigured, cranky pot farmer who wants people to keep off his crop? All signs point to "Yes".